Sunday, 16 October 2011

unlimited funny one liners

  • I need somebody bad. Are you bad?
  • Physically pffffffft!
  • Buckle up. It makes it harder for the aliens to snatch you from your car.
  • I'm not a snob. I'm just better than you are.
  • Earth is the insane asylum of the universe.
  • Keep staring....I may do a trick.
  • We got rid of the kids. The cat was allergic.
  • It's my cat's world. I'm just here to open cans.
  • Cats regard people as warm-blooded furniture.
  • Dangerously under-medicated.
  • My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash, and it's gone.
  • Every time I hear the word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
  • Live your life so that when you die, the preacher won't have to tell lies at your funeral.
  • In God we trust. All others we polygraph.

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