top one liners

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My cousin is gay; I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.

I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "probably because of something you did."

I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.

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