Thursday 20 October 2011

funny one liners on men

funny one liners on life




A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months. 

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, "Cough!" 

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!" 

The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?" 

A doctor says to a man, "You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day." Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, "How is your love life since you have been running?" "I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!" 

The patient says, "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!" 

The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do?" asks the patient. The doctor says, "I'm mad at my neighbor!" 

A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!" 

"Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says, "Limp!" 

Doctor says to a man, "You're pregnant!" The man says, "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says, "The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner...." 

A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!" 

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