Thursday, 13 October 2011

funny one liners on men

Leave bad enough alone!
Let's just say I don't respond well to authority.
Lethargy in motion.
Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
Living well is the best revenge.
Lobotomies for Republicans? Why be redundant?
Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Mad, bad and dangerous to know -- Caroline Lamb, refering to Lord Byron
Make no enemies accidentally.
Marching to a different kettle of fish.
Maybe I'll become an evil genius and destroy the world and THEN I'll feel better.
Meandering to a different drummer.
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
Mental backup in progress-Do Not Disturb!
Mind like a steel trap- rusty and illegal in 37 states
Minimum wage for politicians.
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.
My Reality Check bounced.
My commitment is to truth, not consistency.
My great dream is that I've won all the beauty contests in the world and all the people I don't like are forced to build me a castle in France
My life's really not so awful--it just seems that way when I'm awake.
My mom thinks I'm at the movies.
My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
Necrophilia: That uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one.
Never date philosophy majors. My last girlfriend was one and she spent her time proving I didn't exist.
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
Never raise your hands to your kids; it leaves your groin unprotected.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Never trust a person who isn't having at least one crisis.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

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