Sunday, 16 October 2011

huge list of funny one liners jokes

  • Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle science fiction.
  • OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
  • Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
  • I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
  • Time is the best teacher, unfortunately it kills all of its students.
  • Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill them.
  • Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
  • Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
  • Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
  • We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things got worse.
  • Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
  • Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
  • Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
  • Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
  • There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
  • Keep honking...I'm reloading
  • Eagles may soar, but weasels dont get sucked into jet engines.
  • The face of a child can say it all....especially the mouth part of the face.
  • Our lady of blessed acceleration, dont fail us now! -- Elwood Blues
  • Remember: Silly is a state of mind, stupid is a way of life.

No comments:

Post a Comment