funny one liners on girls

• My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
• After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.' The husband replied, 'Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice.'
• 'I never know how much of what I say is true.' Bette Midler
• A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted' . Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
• When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
• The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.  Margo Kaufman
• Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
• There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters.  Alice Thomas Ellis
• 'It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.' Tallulah Bankhead