best one liners

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When I'm bored I like to decorate my bedroom to look like a classroom so I can fall asleep faster.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have - the older she gets the more interested he is in her.

When people get FLU they always say "My nose is running" "well:" go catch it!!

You see her smiling during the day and you have no idea how much she cried all night.

I had amnesia once - maybe twice.

I'm not cheap, but I'm on special this week...