Wednesday, 19 October 2011

funny one liners on life

I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she’s interested in, she said: Check books.
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I hv lst my hand, oh!
Santa: Control urself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.
My wife thinks “freedom of the press” means no-iron clothes.
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations–we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together
A history teacher & his wife were sitting at a table. The wife asked. ‘Anything new at work?’
He replied, ‘No, I’m teaching History.’
Boss: I’ll give you 3000 per month and in three months, I’ll raise it to 6000. So when would you like to start?
Santa: In 3 months.

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