Sunday, 16 October 2011

funny one liners jokes

Technically, I don't really go to bed. I just give up on the day. (JPHaddadio)
____ The Disney princess I'm most like is Belle in that I like to read, I fell for a man who was a monster, & I enjoy talking to furniture. (CarlyCastle)
____ Does anyone know where I can get a new lease on life? The one I have isn't working out. My landlord is an idiot. (theninguen)
____ Picking up this tiny piece of paper would take one second, but instead, I am going to run over it 100 times with the vacuum at different angles. (Cheeseboy22)
____ This cute guy I met just texted that he wants to "hang out" tonight, but he lives in the Valley, & I made him up. (MrsRupertPupkin)
____ Cats have it made. They walk around naked and everyone thinks they're adorable. But if I walk around naked, I have a drinking problem. (YeahImAshley)
____ wrote a poem today! Half of it is true. The other half is just a bunch of lies to make it rhyme. (JPHaddadio)
____ Life is a comedy for those who think, a tragedy for those who feel, and a pie eating contest for me. (Saint_Angrier)
____ When my kids were born I dreamt about them being happy, well-adjusted, successful adults. Now my only goal is to not raise a serial killer. (Irish_girlie)
____ "Howdy, ma'am. I heard there was a hoedown here at this bar. Are you her?" (IGotsSmarts)

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