one liners funny

It’s the good girls who keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time

man asks ‘whens your birthday’ i reply ‘february’ man ‘what year?’ me ‘every year!!!’

when you finally go back to your old home town,you find it wasnt the old home you missed but your childhood!

When you see a married guy talking to himself, he’s just reliving an argument he’s already lost.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Facebook is like women, when you start to understand them… they CHANGE!

At the Photography Studio:
“First, we’ll shoot you, then we’ll blow you up, then you can go home and hang yourself.

Suddenly facebook has started looking like my office desk, mess!

charlie sheen and lindsay lohan are to star in a new amercan comedy,its called ‘two and a half grams!’

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever..
BOY : Don’t you ever want to improve??

A friend is someone who’s there when he needs you.

The best time to miss a train is at a crossing.

Women are a piano; touch the right combination of keys and you get a beautiful melody. Men are a toaster; push one button and they pop up!

Human – Made in Bed

Mom tells her younger daughter: ” The thing between ur LEGS is called a Monkey.”

Girl to her elder sister: “My Monkey has started growing Hairs.”
Elder Sister: “You are talking of growing Hairs! Mine has already started eating BANANA…

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.

Those who Hesitate,
Later only Masturbate…!!!

when its a question of money, everybody is of the same religion.

Today’s Relationships: You can touch each other, but not each others phones  )

An Airline Introduced
A Special Package For Business Men.
Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife’s Ticket Free

After Great Success,
The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives
Asking How Was The Trip.
All Of Them Gave A Same Reply…

“Which Trip ?”

Height of flirting :
:
:
Throwing a love letter in girls hostel,
N beginning it wid d words….
To whomsoever it may concern….


some more funny pages .

http://www.squidoo.com/quote-of-the-day2 

http://www.squidoo.com/funnyone-liner-quotes 

http://www.squidoo.com/funny-stupid-quotes 


http://www.squidoo.com/funny-slogans 

http://www.squidoo.com/super-funny-quotes