Friday, 14 October 2011

funny one liners jokes

Warm baths do not cure insomnia.  A bottle of Muscadet and a large Jack Daniels cures insomnia.

People who “put something by each week” are simply not shopping hard enough.

People are sometimes curious enough to exchange personal telephone numbers for a clandestine look at someone else’s boredom.

I thought black was supposed to be slimming, but it always makes me look like the opening to a tunnel.

I don’t cook.  I can’t be good in every room in the house!

What word describes the practice of being married to only one man at a time.  Mono-something.  Ah … Monotony.

Did you know that banging your head up against a brick walls burns 150 calories per hour?

Preserve nature.  Pickle a squirrel today.

Other people are ‘types’.  One always thinks of oneself as an individual.

The worst moment for any atheist is when he feels grateful for something and has no-one to thank.

The least one can ask an atheist is not to make his atheism an article of faith.

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