Wednesday 19 October 2011

funny one liners


The Judge: “I though I told you I never wanted to see you again.”
The Criminal: “That’s what I told the police but they wouldn’t listen!”
Some advice. Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut after.
When a man of 70 marries a girl of 21 it’s like buying a book for someone else to read.
Signboard outside a prostitute’s house: Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy..
what is the definition of lesbian , yet another damm woman trying to do a man`s job
Ok, Osama is dead. Do I still have to remove my shoes at the airport?
Alcohol isn’t the answer to everything but atleast it makes you forget the question.
Children are a great comfort in your old age. And they help you get there faster, too
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.
After Break-Up “We can still be friends” is like “Your Dog is dead but you can still keep it.”
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
‎”SIT AND STUDY” – this stunt is performed by experts under controlled conditions. Don’t try this at home or anywhere
2 eyes to see, 2 ears to hear, 2 hands to hold, 2 legs to walk. but 1 heart? because the other was given to someone else, for us to find. ♥
A Day Without Music Is Like A Year Without Rain
What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

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