Thursday, 20 October 2011

funny one liners on life

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often
Money is the root of all wealth.
A clear conscience is merely the result of bad memory.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Marriages are made in heaven. But, then again, so are thunder, lightening, tornados and hail.
Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor’s office is full of portraits by Picasso.
journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

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