Sunday, 16 October 2011

funny one liners

  • Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for thou art you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
  • Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
  • Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and then they beat you with experience.
  • Motto of the Bomb Squad: If you see us running, you better catch up.
  • The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
  • If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  • Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.
  • Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're OK, you're it.
  • Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
  • It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
  • Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
  • If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
  • COROLLARY: If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.
  • The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

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