great one liners

That awkward moment when you're left alone with someone you just met.






LIKE if you're guilty...
You wash your dishes before putting in the dishwasher.








I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.








LIKE if you think every phone should have the same charger. SHARE if you wish it were true :)

never argue with an idiot

this post about proverb don't argue with an idiot , or some people also say never argue with an idiot.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience

Never argue with an idiot. Bystanders won't be able to tell the difference.

Wise men never argue with fools, because people from a distance can't tell who is who

Never argue with a pig; it just frustrates you and annoys the pig

if you argue with fools, you look like a fool, too.

hilarious one liners

I'm living the dream! I sleep all the time







I caught the Easter Bunny laying eggs. All I've got to say is they're way too small and they don't taste anything like chocolate.






A fool and his money are never around when you need them.






My apathy is at an all time whatever.







The boss put a "Conserve Energy" sign in the break room. Guess I better prop my feet up and nap awhile.

cheesy one liners

My biggest problem with the younger generation is I'm not in it

The wife just said, "Your obsession with cats is out of control, so I've packed your bags." I think she's kicking meeeowt

I've been up all night interrogating an egg... I think he's about to crack.

But, I don't want to do-it-myself. The last time I tried that I ended up superglued to the cat

Hey, you know that compound that freezes off warts? How much would you need to make an entire co-worker disappear?