witty funny one liners

So many stupid people and so few asteroids.



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Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don't know when.



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We have so much in common. you want to travel, I want you to go .



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I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.



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Me and my attitude.....It's enough.



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I'm not a racer....But i can fly.



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You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want.



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To go beyond is as wrong as to fall short.



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Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echo is truly endless.



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Insert coin to view my status message.



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I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.



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If somebody offers u a lifetime supply of candy and there is just one piece, don't eat it: It's probably poison.



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Just Trust yourself then you Will know how to Live?



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The richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least.



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Behind my smile is everything you will never understand.



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Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.



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Came but for friendship, and took away love.



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You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.



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You can do anything, but not everything.



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Love hurts, love scars, love wounds, and mars.



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You've got to be before you can do and do before you can have.



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