jokes funny one liners

I'm in the mood to flood the whole place with uppercuts!!!














I wonder if T-Pain ever buy that girl a drink?.....His cheap self- lying bastard make other girl push on niggas in the club to pop bottles-




















I have a lot of girls in my phone with the last name "FromTheClub".
















Yo mama so fat, when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 commercials

funny quotes one liners

No need to be popular just to win someone's heart. Be yourself. Because in someone's eyes, you are already special.










WHAT DID THE PATRIOT PUT ON HIS DRY SKIN? REVO-LOTION


















Back in the day, my father had the best TV Remote of all times. It was me.
















Girl on FB changed relationship status to 'Single'. No one gave a damn. More painful than being dumped.

funny sayings

When you walk into a Spider Web, it's funny how u instantly know kung-fu














I wish people realized that accepting a friend request doesn't mean I'll respond to your chat message.


















American kid:"so, you're from the uk? cool! so do you have tea with the Queen?"
British kid: "Do you go to mcdonalds with Obama?"














Pastor died and went to hell.When he asked for the wrong he had done,the demon said ''You stole a friends status".Let he who has eyes repent.

clean one liner jokes

Do you suppose the inventor of the vibrator heard a voice that said, "If you build it, they will come." 
















What do you do with 365 used rubbers? Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear. 










You may find this hard to believe, but I found the pot at the end of the rainbow once. I smoked it.








I MUST BE GETTING OLDER . LATELY ALL IM LOOKING FOR IS A ONE NIGHT SIT